artisans: (Default)
Did you do this to get the attention of the doctors so they would take your tendonitis more seriously?

She is assuming because I've been trapped in the house because of my wrist and it was taking so long to get things fixed this is the reason I self harm. Oh man, it has destroyed me. Obviously everything else that led up to it was stuff anyone should have been able to cope with. No mum just no.

All the confidence I was building is gone. I freaked out about leaving the house today and not looking nice enough. I had to get her to come and tell me I looked okay. And then I could barely manage an hour around town. I felt fat and anxious the whole way. I got home and slept. Slept when she visited later.

Right now I want to sleep and give up.

It was going so well. I had finished a book and a tdl. All I want to do is carve myself and wake up from the feelings.


artisans: (Default)

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